Having It All. Officially.

My generation was taught that we can’t have it all.  We can try to do it all, but we know we can’t be good at all of it and we’ll always be giving something up. Quality time with our families. The promotion at work. Our relationships. The education we worked so hard for. It’s a constant give-and-take and re-balancing of priorities. Shifting, bending, compromising.

It’s no different when it comes to men. Especially as we get older. We can have the hot guy, but he’s going to cheat on us. The really nice guys are bald and pudgy. The smart ones are cold and distant. So we learn to compromise. We lower our standards. We can have lust and passion or we can have fidelity and happiness. We make our choices and then live with them. And it shouldn’t be this way, but for the most part it is.

Meeting Man Candy changed that. He constantly surprises me in good ways. He makes me dinner. He brought me flowers. He opens doors and dotes on me. He brings my kid gallons of ice cream. He communicates and he’s honest. And there’s a reason I call him Man Candy. Aside from  any materialistic wants, he’s perfect. I don’t feel like I’m giving up the monetary aspect because I never had it to start with. And the fact that he makes me laugh multiple times a day and hugs me without me asking makes up for that a thousand times.

He’s younger than me but more mature in some ways. He’s old-fashioned in cute, quaint ways. Like the way he had to ask me out before we were in an “official” relationship. He asked me just after midnight on New Year’s Eve. He held my hands and made a little speech about how when you find something good you grab onto it and don’t let go. It was like a little mini-proposal and I got all smushy and couldn’t stop smiling. Me. The cynic.

I know I’ve always believed in love on some level and hoped it would happen for me, but I didn’t ever really think it would. I’d have to give it up to settle for just being content. Or go for the passion and lust and resign myself to moments of happiness between stretches of loneliness. I didn’t think I could have it all.

It’s still early days. I’m realistic enough and still cynical enough to know that. Which is why I have threatened that if he turns out to be a jerk and not this really great guy that I will kill him. Because that would be the meanest trick to play on anyone. Ever.

But, so far, he is the whole package. So far. And making it official is the icing on the cake.


~ by Kat on January 4, 2012.

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