And Then It Was Over

I’ve finally gotten the duster out for my neglected little blog. We’d barely even started when I just dropped it like a hot potato. That is what the throes of a new relationship will do to you. And here I am, crawling back, asking you to read it. I understand if you don’t. But, if you’d like to dissect the demise of my relationship, you might want to stay tuned.

I’m sure I’ll have more to say later, but here’s the gist. In a very tiny nutshell, he ended it because I drink too much. Which, if you knew me the way everyone does, you would think is ludicrous. Because it is. He also thought I put my friends above him. And that I was disrespectful. Along with a litany of other charges. Basically, it was All My Fault.

Before I say anything else, I will say that he is a good guy. He really is. And it’s important to him that he is a good guy. He just goes about it all the wrong way.

Did I refuse to let him in? Possibly. Did I put my friends first? I tried not to at first, but in the end, they’ve always been there for me and always will be. Do I love my dogs more? Duh. Of course I do. Do I enjoy my martinis and glasses of wine? Hell yes. But none of these things feels out of balance to me. My life works for me. It just does. And it just doesn’t work for him.

So he left. And I let him. Because I was tired of the fighting. Tired of constantly explaining myself when I shouldn’t have had to. Because I realized that he just doesn’t get me. And if you don’t get me, well, you don’t get me.

I didn’t have that heart-dropping-everything-is-wrong-and-nothing-will-ever-be-the-same feeling that usually comes the morning after a breakup. It was more like, “Oh yeah. That happened.” It’s now been a week and I have been through the first lonely Sunday evening. That one was a little rough, but not unbearable. Still, I haven’t cried my eyes out. I ate copious amounts of ice cream over the weekend, but no tears.

I just need some distance. Time to assimilate back into my Single Life. Learn the lessons and move along. My life is full, it won’t take too long to fill the gap.

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~ by Kat on October 8, 2012.

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