Twenty Four Hours In the Sea

I’ve been on Tinder for a while. It used to be the hook-up site but is now apparently the place to find relationships. Why can I not find casual sex anymore??

So I got back on Plenty of Fish. Which should be called Plenty of Assholes. Here is what happened during my first 24 hours of swimming with the fishies.

A lot of guys messaged me who clearly hadn’t read my profile. Like rednecks and the uneducated. That’s to be expected and par for the course, but still annoying.

One guy told me that he’s a pharmacist. Shortly afterward he told me that I needed a spanking and then was upset when I wouldn’t give him my number. Um…. you have access to pharmaceuticals and you’ve already crossed a boundary. I guess I’m overreacting by not trusting you enough to give you further access to me. My bad.

Super Cute Guy messaged me. Finally, someone I could actually get turned on by. I did give him my number. He responded with a non-solicited dick pic. What the ever-loving fuck, dude? He asked if I’m passionate and if I like giving head and anal. When I told him I’m a fucking lady and not a cheap hooker, I was told that I must not be passionate. Damn. The cute ones are always disappointing.

I made the mistake of giving a younger guy my number as well. He’s not even the ethnicity he portrays in his profile. He texted obsessively for two hours. “Can I see you Wednesday? If not Wednesday, how about Thursday? Do you like music? Do you like reading? Do you like to text all fucking day?” Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Then there are the ones who start with “Hello” but never answer my response. Why did you bother in the first place? Or the ones who go on and on and fucking on about how great I look. Once or twice is a nice compliment, beyond that I either think you’re lying or are completely incapable of holding an intelligent conversation.

There is one prospect for a FWB. He hasn’t asked to text me yet. He was upfront about what he wants without asking specifically graphic, gross questions. He left for NY for the weekend but asked if we could make plans later this week. So we’ll see.

I’ll keep you posted. Live vicariously through my pain y’all.

 

 

 

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~ by Kat on January 17, 2016.

One Response to “Twenty Four Hours In the Sea”

  1. Don’t give up hope just yet. It took me five months of assholes, but I found my boyfriend on Tinder. They’re out there, just have to toss a lot of your “catches” back

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